return my video game
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
