Cold hands, warm shart.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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