Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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