dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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