why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So I just went to clothing optional bar