Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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