Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
