Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
