As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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