so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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