I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize