hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
