I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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