i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It's not a walk of shame if you run
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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