you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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