she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
