remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
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They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
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I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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