some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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