do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
