Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
