dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just had sex bonerless
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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