I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
