he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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