We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
