i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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