Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just want nice things and good sex
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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