I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
