big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
