it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He felt like a one man threesome
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize