Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
PANTIES FOUND
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