My room smells like vodka and shame
She's JV to your varsity
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
