New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
