is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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