found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
