Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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