I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
