Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
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You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
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there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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