i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
