Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Terrible idea I love it
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
