shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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