singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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