Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize