Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize