Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
