The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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