toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
