I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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