Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize