i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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