are you so shy because you have an std?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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