You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
