you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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