Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
