I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
