I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
