i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize