Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
