sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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